It's hard. It never really does get easier. If I told you it did, I lied. It doesn't get easier no matter how many times you disconnect, but especially if you don't mean to. Your mind keeps searching for something, for anything, like a phone looking for a signal and finding nothing and--

[A shuddering exhale.]

God. It sucks.

There's something really horrifically grand and pathetic and very Lifetime Movie dramatic to be sitting on the floor in our house--

And it's such a BIG house, you know? LIKE. What the hell were we thinking? LIKE. Who needs ALL this SPACE?! The APARTMENT was too much space and now this? Like? I'm sitting on, on hardwood--genuine real hardwood floors, none of this laminate crap, and an area rug (what a fucking load of Martha Stewart bullshit...an AREA rug)--getting DRUNK on nice WINE like some overwrought housewife--!


.........my head is so lonely.